Адаптированная книга на английском языке «Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome». Аудиокнига на английском.
There were four of us — George, William Samuel Harris, myself and Montmorency. We were sitting in my room and talking about how bad we were — bad from a medical point of view I mean, of course.
We were all feeling terrible, and we were getting quite nervous about it. Harris and George said they hardly knew what they were doing at times. With me, it was my liver that was out of order. I knew it was my liver that was out of order, because I had just been reading an article which described the various symptoms by which a man could tell when his liver was out of order. I had them all.
It is an extraordinary thing, but I never read a medicine article without coming to the conclusion that I have the particular disease written about in the article.
I remember going to the British Museum one day to read about some illness which I had. I got down the book and read all I could. Then I kept reading about other diseases. I forget which was the first disease I read about, but before I had read halfway down the list of symptoms, I was positive that I had got it.
Every disease I came to, I found that I had in some form or another. I read through the whole book, and the only illness I found that I had not got was housemaid’s knee.
I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a horrible wreck.
I went straight to my doctor and saw him, and he said: „Well, what’s the matter with you?»
I said: „I will not take up your time telling you what is the matter with me. Life is short, and you might pass away before I have finished. But I will tell you what is NOT the matter with me. I have not got housemaid’s knee. Why I have not got housemaid’s knee, I cannot tell you. Everything else, however, I HAVE got.»
And I told him how I came to discover it all. Then he examined me and held my wrist, and then he hit me on the chest when I wasn’t expecting it.
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